Now, what does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, special thanks to Miley Cyrus for taking me on a stroll down memory lane with her critically acclaimed performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. The giant bears, the tongue, the twerking, the foam finger, the bizarre dancing..."Where have I seen this before?", I thought to myself? Ahhh yes, that unforgettable day at the museum. Apparently, I was not the only person who saw the abstract art form hidden in the chaos. Miley's performance inspired a tribute by one of her crazed fans. Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we are post-modern. Enjoy!!!
When I was in high school, I had an art history project that had me visiting a modern art museum. It was really strange in there to say the least. There were some really weird paintings that resembled nothing. Two exhibits, in particular, have been etched into my mind to this day. One was a giant sculpture of two Siamese twins who were conjoined with the same penis. That penis shot straight up and was about 3 stories tall. The second was a mechanical display of lumberjacks in the woods. One was having sex with a tree. The other was screwing the ground. The display was mechanical, and so they were moving!!! I left the museum scarred for life. Now, what does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, special thanks to Miley Cyrus for taking me on a stroll down memory lane with her critically acclaimed performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. The giant bears, the tongue, the twerking, the foam finger, the bizarre dancing..."Where have I seen this before?", I thought to myself? Ahhh yes, that unforgettable day at the museum. Apparently, I was not the only person who saw the abstract art form hidden in the chaos. Miley's performance inspired a tribute by one of her crazed fans. Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we are post-modern. Enjoy!!!
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Sometimes life imitates fiction as we saw in the last blog with Gerri and Paul. Paul was ambushed by the same dreaded temperature change issue as George Costanza. In Paul's defense, he was in the pool!!! He was in the pool!!! Now meet Angelo, who took this concept to a whole new low in this shocking episode of Blind Date with Angelo and Rebecca. Rebecca is a sweet, wholesome girl with a great....personality. BTW, she looks mighty fine in powdered blue, a great color match for blondies. They talk quite openly about Rebecca's...congeniality...throughout the date. Angelo, allegedly a stud, does one of the all-time pet peeves on Blind Date, and that is, he directly asks Rebecca for a kiss. Now come on! Step up to the plate and hit the fastball instead of asking the pitcher to toss it underhanded. Anyways, suspense builds during the date as the Blind Date producers tease us with Angelo's highly anticipated nuclear weapon. And then, he took it out. What did he take out you ask? He took...huh huh...it out. Blondies have high standards and rightfully so. Only the most qualified need apply. Of course, if blondies were not so picky, their blondie value would drop. It would be too easy, and we would not appreciate the prize if there were no struggle. But, sometimes the laws of natural selection are too harsh and work against both the blondie and her would-be pursuer. This is what happened on this classic episode of Blind Date with Gerri and Paul. Now, these two seemed to hit it off great. Gerri was really into Paul, and Paul was turning up the charm. Fittingly, they visited a zoo that teaches people about animal mating behavior. Everything seemed headed for fireworks....and then....well, let's just say Paul ended up on the short end of the stick. Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we value integrity above all else. So, we do not put blondies on a pedestal and fawn at them shamelessly. Oh no, we speak the truth! Blondies are human. They fail just like the rest of us. Instead of looking the other way, we stare right into the train wreck and bring you a collection of timeless blondie fails. Vote for your favorite!!! 1) Blondie on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Leading off, as the saying goes, "don't judge a book by its cover". Truer words have never been spoken as a lovely blonde contestant opens up her inner geography book and allows us to peruse the blank pages. Now, in her defense, there is a technicality here. Hungry and Hungary are not pronounced the same way. It's hun-gry vs Hun-ga-ry. We are always striving to educate. 2) Miss South Carolina Ah yes, the now classic blondie fail from Miss South Carolina. She made America proud with her response during the Question & Answer portion. Her immortal words give true meaning to the letters WTF. An interesting part of this is that she appears to have prepared for the answer? 3) Paris Hilton After serving time in PRISON, Paris Hilton appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman. Letterman reached deep within his anus and pulled out as much asshole as he could to get her talking about her prison experience. For some mysterious reason, Paris kept taking the bait. Oh, blondie, just say No!!! What ensued was one excruciating interview that goes down in Letterman Show lore. Enjoy!!! 4) Alexandra Wallace Then, there's this one. This is the infamous racist rant by a UCLA student. No words can do justice to this failure of epic proportions. I am speechless. I am without speech. Jaw dropped, but no wong coming out. SMH...roll the video. |
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November 2015
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