Adam Sandler recently made the movie sequel, Grown Ups 2. In it, there was a cameo appearance made by Shaquille O'Neal. Adam Sandler made an appearance on the Conan O'Brien Show to promote the movie and talked about what it was like to work with Shaq. Sandler revealed that they played basketball on the movie set...and there was an incident with Shaq's sausage.
In baseball, there have been certain players who were great early in their careers and then mysteriously faded off towards the tail end. They are said to have played their way out of the Hall of Fame. The rollercoaster ride career of Tom Cruise would fall under this category. Is he still a movie superstar fitting of HOF considerations? After some deliberation, the BAFH committee reached a verdict...to induct Tom Cruise into our Blondie Hall of Fame. It was a grueling ordeal. Is he in? Is he out? Let us take you through our thought process with the Tom Cruise timeline!!!
1) Promising Beginnings
Tom Cruise had movie star written all over him from the beginning. He had that look of charm, that smirk of confidence. In the beginning, he played a few roles as impudent, smart-ass characters. His on-screen persona was a perfect match for being Maverick on Top Gun, one of the all-time great pioneering movies. Let's check out the memorable volleyball scene where great cinematography masked Tom's vertical challenges.
2) The Immaculate Performance
Cruise's acting reached momentous heights with his immaculate performance in Rain Man opposite Dustin Hoffman, who himself turned in one of his greatest performances and won the Oscar. Tom held his own throughout the movie and was not upstaged by Hoffman's brilliance. The plot of the movie is that Cruise and Hoffman's characters drive cross-country. Not much happens, except some tremendously great acting in scene after scene. It is an overall all-time great movie and performances with a great soundtrack to boot.
3) Turbulence, Spiral, Just Strange
Things started to get rocky as Cruise married and divorced Nicole Kidman, made a bizarre movie, Eyes Wide Shut, mixed in with some good performances in A Few Good Men and Jerry Maguire (nominated for Oscar). He joined scientology, became involved with Katie Holmes, and then it all came to a surprising head with the couch hop. His strange behavior on Oprah costed movie studios about a billion dollars. This clip speaks for itself.
4) Redemption...Rise of the Phoenix!!!
Cruise earned a measure of redemption with a hilarious role in Tropic Thunder. It was an interesting cast, as Ben Stiller, Robert Downey, Jr, Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, and Tom's individual stars were all moving in different directions. Nonetheless, it was a funny movie where Tom showed his sense of humour by not taking himself too seriously.
So, where are we now with Tom Cruise??? His past few movies have come and gone without much fanfare. We choose to remember the good times, and so we induct Tom Cruise into the Blondie Hall of Fame. I...feel...amazing!!! Couch hop!!!
America is known as a land of diversity, decorated with different cultures from sea to shining sea. Here at BAFH, we are all for it!!! We love different ways of doing things. Down with communism!!! Within the fabric of America is a sub-culture of blondies. Yep, blondies have cultures...and ergo, sub-cultures. Wow, that's deep. Ahhh yes, blondies are not all the same. To further explore the nuances of blondie sub-cultures, we shall go hip hop!!!...and consider the east coast vs west coast blondies.
1) East Coast Blondie
The east coast is known for its hustle and bustle. It has subways packed with sardines of commuters, cold weather, and a dog-eat-dog survival of the fittest rat race. This mentality permeates even to the blondies. Yep, the east coast blondie is bitchy, tough, and cold-blooded. This personification was played splendidly by Margot Robbie (looking great in pink) in The Wolf of Wall Street. Check it out. Now that's what I'm talkin' about .
2) West Coast Blondie
Now, the west coast...ahhh, "We love L.A......We love it!!!" We have a sweet spot for the west coast, and namely, Los Angeles and Las Vegas!!! These two fabulous cities are known for beautiful actors/showgirls, bright/neon lights, great weather, easy-going demeanor, and risk-taking sharpies. From this fertile ground has grown the west coast blondie (also looking great in pink) who is ditzy, air-headed,...and oh, the voice....huh???? How??? How can this be??? Oh, it'd be...next clip, west coast blondie goes hip hop.
Have you ever noticed that the name Kelly is used for many hot babes on TV shows? The Kelly character on many shows would be the signature candy apple. Well, we here at Blondes are from Heaven gloss over no details. If there's a hot babe trend to discover, we are there to bring you our patented rigorous scientific approach. So, it is with beaming pleasure that we present.....A Tale of Three Kelly's.
1) Kelly Bundy
Ahhhh....one of our all-time favorite shows, Married with Children. Everyone on the cast had their unique appeal from Al to Peggy to Bud to Marcy. And to top off the sundae is blondie cherry, Kelly Bundy. She played the bad girl / dumb blonde to perfection, complete with great hair, sexy wardrobe, and confusing lines. Plus, she can dance!!! She's now a judge on So You Think You Can Dance. Let's check out the full Kelly Bundy package.
2) Kelly Taylor
Now, here's a show I could never understand, Beverly Hills 90210. Maybe, it's because I didn't live in that world of the rich kids. Kelly Taylor was the pretty girl you can never have a chance with. The whole show was just too cool for me to grasp. And then, there were all those love triangles, pentagons, quadrilaterals, ellipses...with Kelly and Brandon and Dylan and Brenda and Andrea's secret crush on Brandon. Oh, my head is spinning even now. This show's format spawned a whole genre of shows that I don't related to...Melrose Place, The O.C., Dawson's Creek, The Hills, Laguna Beach... And then, driving the final stake into my heart is that what's his name ended up marrying Megan Fox!!! Oh, dear mercy...viewer discretion advised for the next clip.
3) Kelly Kapowski
Saved by the Bell starring Kelly Kapowski came along a couple of years too late for me. I was already past that phase, and so the whole premise of the show seemed a bit dorky. Kelly Kapowski was the prettiest girl in school that Zack and Slater fought over. She had great hair!!! The big challenged for the show was that the kids just grew up, and they had a hard time continuing the high school style of the show. Kelly was hurt by the fact that they couldn't do more mature subject matter and that the cast hasn't fared well after the show. Screech went into celebrity boxing, and Jessie was in the movie, Showgirls. Zack's career has been up and down, while Slater is forever etched into my mind as the Host standing next to Miss South Carolina (see Blondie Fail blog). Kelly was a hot chick in a bizarro tornado. Who better to explain than...TMZ.
I grew up during the MTV generation. Remember that time? For those of you who are a bit younger, there was a time when music was only played on the radio. OMG!!! Yeah, the only time you saw music on TV was for a live performance such as the Tonight Show. Then, the geniuses over at MTV gave us one of the greatest inventions in the history of civilization. One day, music videos dropped out of the sky. I was like, "What is this? Why do they keep playing music on TV? What's with the dancing and the different scenes?" Yes, it was a mind-blowing breakthrough for my generation. And now, as you might have noticed, I like watching videos.
One of the pioneers of early music videos was Madonna. She put together a style that has since been imitated by many but never duplicated. The imitations fade but the original has stood the test of time. Madonna was a sensual, provocative combination of seduction, sexuality, mischief, rebellion, ambition, eloquence, and grace. Just like Coca-Cola, you don't mess with perfection. Just give us regular Coke and original Madonna. She encompassed the full spectrum from lovely woman to naughty girl. Her impact on my childhood left an impression that would today spawn this blog. So, here at Blondes are from Heaven, we salute you, Madonna, for your music, your style, and defining the concept of sex appeal. The first inductee into our Blondie Hall of Fame is the one....the only....Madonna. Watch her work her magic to captivate a nation.
When I was in high school, I had an art history project that had me visiting a modern art museum. It was really strange in there to say the least. There were some really weird paintings that resembled nothing. Two exhibits, in particular, have been etched into my mind to this day. One was a giant sculpture of two Siamese twins who were conjoined with the same penis. That penis shot straight up and was about 3 stories tall. The second was a mechanical display of lumberjacks in the woods. One was having sex with a tree. The other was screwing the ground. The display was mechanical, and so they were moving!!! I left the museum scarred for life.
Now, what does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, special thanks to Miley Cyrus for taking me on a stroll down memory lane with her critically acclaimed performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. The giant bears, the tongue, the twerking, the foam finger, the bizarre dancing..."Where have I seen this before?", I thought to myself? Ahhh yes, that unforgettable day at the museum. Apparently, I was not the only person who saw the abstract art form hidden in the chaos. Miley's performance inspired a tribute by one of her crazed fans. Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we are post-modern. Enjoy!!!
Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we value integrity above all else. So, we do not put blondies on a pedestal and fawn at them shamelessly. Oh no, we speak the truth! Blondies are human. They fail just like the rest of us. Instead of looking the other way, we stare right into the train wreck and bring you a collection of timeless blondie fails. Vote for your favorite!!!
1) Blondie on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
Leading off, as the saying goes, "don't judge a book by its cover". Truer words have never been spoken as a lovely blonde contestant opens up her inner geography book and allows us to peruse the blank pages. Now, in her defense, there is a technicality here. Hungry and Hungary are not pronounced the same way. It's hun-gry vs Hun-ga-ry. We are always striving to educate.
2) Miss South Carolina
Ah yes, the now classic blondie fail from Miss South Carolina. She made America proud with her response during the Question & Answer portion. Her immortal words give true meaning to the letters WTF. An interesting part of this is that she appears to have prepared for the answer?
3) Paris Hilton
After serving time in PRISON, Paris Hilton appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman. Letterman reached deep within his anus and pulled out as much asshole as he could to get her talking about her prison experience. For some mysterious reason, Paris kept taking the bait. Oh, blondie, just say No!!! What ensued was one excruciating interview that goes down in Letterman Show lore. Enjoy!!!
4) Alexandra Wallace
Then, there's this one. This is the infamous racist rant by a UCLA student. No words can do justice to this failure of epic proportions. I am speechless. I am without speech. Jaw dropped, but no wong coming out. SMH...roll the video.
Here at Blondes are from Heaven, we appreciate both style and substance. We like blondies with talent! And to prove that point, let's engage in an intellectual debate that has raged for decades. That is, who sings the classical song, Memory, better? Barbara Streisand or Elaine Paige? Both have iconic golden voices of their generation. Barbara is American, and Elaine is English. They both sing it with their own unique style and flare that make their respective countries proud. Is it a coincidence that they are both blonde? What is the correlation between blondie and great singing?
This is a prestigious title, indeed. Only the most accomplished singers have earned the privilege of singing this timeless classic. So, we must take time and thoroughly contemplate this issue before casting a vote. Is it going to be Streisand or Paige? Enjoy!
1) Barbara Stresiand
This is recorded for the official music video.
2) Elaine Paige
This is from the original Cats musical.
Have you ever seen a sexy blondie and did a double take? Wow, that's an interesting hair color isn't it? Then, you may be wondering, is that her natural hair color? I, for one, have contemplated this question many times. And I say there must be a way to tell if she is in fact the real thing or a bottled imitation. Here at Blondes are from Heaven, integrity is the cornerstone of our superficiality. At the very least, we need to be gawking at blondes who are truly blonde. We shall not be mocked. So, in the name of truth in advertising, let's play one of my favorite games! Blonde or not blonde?
Below are some sexy purportedly blonde chicks. Now, can you tell if they are blonde or not blonde? Vote now and comment below!
1) Gwen Stefani
Now, here is the prototypical sexy blonde. Let's take a moment to check out her sexy. So, blonde or not blonde? I want the truth!!! I can handle it!!!
2) Trish Stratus
Nothing hotter than a kick-ass blondie. I would luv to do some rolling around wrestling with this baby. Let's appreciate her artistry in the ring. Time to go to the judges' score cards. Blonde or not blonde? I need me some stratisfcation!
3) Taylor Swift
Very talented...but is that considered blonde? What category is her hair color? Let's analyze this. Handle with care....if you know what i mean.
4) Sharon Stone
Finally, a blondie classic. Her performance in Basic Instinct, the first one, was simply breathtaking. Plus, she gave us all a great hint! Of course, one way to tell if a girl is blonde is to check underneath the hood. I mean, if she dyes her hair down there, that is some serious attention to detail, worthy of a blondie exemption! Let's take a closer look at the most paused moment in movie history. Is that a blondie kitty I see?